I didn’t expect much when I saw Bruce Willis in the cover of this post — but as it’s turned out, I really enjoyed reading this!

In an era whereby just about everyone equates manliness with toxic masculinity, it’s almost certain that “being a man” ain’t about being tough like John McClane (neither as smooth as Willis in his other role in Moonlighting). But we’re all conditioned by something we don’t even know. I grew up with a tough father who believed that masculinity was all about “man up” and solving all problems by himself.

And that which has been the foundation of my thinking: I hate asking for help (thought that was a sign of weakness) and hate it when I have to stand corrected (as it was a sign of deep and miscalculated ignorance). These have been, for me, the meaning of being a man — never ask for help and never want to be told of wrongdoing. So, this post has given me a lot of insights into a lot of things that I have been thinking about, unconsciously.

P.S. Interesting enough, though, the idea of being a man is to respect everyone, so I had never thought about the dimension of toxic masculinity at all until I went to grad school in social sciences where the only topic discussed in seminars were how all men are animals and that we shall get rid of them if we can. And of course, as a man, I had no say in such a seminar. All I could do was to look down at my notes and accepted the discussion, feeling less than human.